Next time you ask for a sign from above,  just ask for a little sign.  Is this person incredibly lucky or unlucky?

Who should you take fashion advice from?  The "beautiful people," i.e, the "fashion industry" or nerds like Psychologist, Dr. Peter Thompson  of York University?

If you've been going along with beauty and not with brains, then you've been believing the 150-year-old advice that vertical stripes (top to bottom) make you look thinner.  But the braniacs say this is wrong advice.  They claim  they have the proof that horizontal stripes (left to right) actually make you look thinner.  

But you decide.  

The Times (of London) 12-Sep-08
Click here for original story

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Update: September 11, 2008 @ 10:59 EDT

"You Got To Know When To Hold 'Em, ... Know When To Walk Away And Know When To Run."
Free website warns guys when it's that time of month.  A weird extra report.

PMSBuddy.com is concerned about collateral damage too

What's the best days to put in the extra time at work?  Go on that business trip to visit clients?  Now you have help in making these important decisions!

"PMSBuddy.com is a free service created with a single goal in mind: to keep you aware of when your wife, girlfriend, mother, sister, daughter, or any other women in your life are closing in on "that time of the month" - when things can get intense for what may seem to be no reason at all.  For women, this is a great way to give people in your life a heads-up of when you might be feeling a bit irritable without having an awkward conversation."

Guys, want to tell sugar lips about this site?  Remember, there's a right time and a wrong time for everything.

Originally found in a FlashNews report.

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Update: September 10, 2008 @ 18:26 EDT

In The UK, You Can Now Be Arrested For Walking In A Public Park Without A Child
Why can't people just stay indoors?  Won't someone please think of the children!

A large group of pedophiles are seen congregating in London's Green Park next door to Buckingham Palace

Park wardens in Telford Town Park in Shropshire "have been ordered to stop and interrogate anyone who is not accompanied by children.   The visitors who are quizzed have to explain their presence and risk being thrown out or reported to police if their answers are not satisfactory. "

"The council ... says it is a 'commonsense approach' aimed at safeguarding children. "

"Former childcare social worker John Evans said: 'It is authoritarian madness which can only be based on ignorance. It is absurd, it is insulting and it is dangerous as it panics people about the dangers their children face.' "

On the other hand, we can use this issue to demand "adult only parks," can't we?   When I was a cub scout leader, I always said that cub scouts would be a lot more fun if we left the kids home.  Hmm....


The UK Daily Mail  10-Sep-08
Click here to see original story

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Update: September 8, 2008 @ 17:17 EDT

Bloomberg Financial, Where It's, "Tomorrow's Headlines Today," Gets Confused And Thinks "Yesterday's Headlines Today" To Make Today's Headlines Today, "UAL Shares Walloped By New Posting Of Old News"
UAL stock tanks 76% at jet speed

It all began when the Florida Sun-Sentinel reposted the nearly 6-year-old story of the United Airlines bankruptcy on their website.  Then Bloomberg Financial, the company which claims they distribute financial news "... faster and more accurately than any other organization," whilst apparently focusing on the "faster," and not so much on the "accurately"  then posted it on their financial  news network.  UAL shares crashed 76% to $3 a share. The Sun-Sentinel says it wasn't their fault.  According to computer records at the newspaper, the file had not been accessed since 2003.  Sara Connor could not be reached for comment. Income Securities Advisers who then posted the story to Bloomberg's feed says it's OK because they  have no financial interest in UAL.  Seriously.  It's OK.  "He [the President of ISA] said his employee followed normal procedures and Income Securities Advisers has no shares in UAL.  We have no economic interest in United Airlines." And what about Bloomberg?  Is it their fault?  No, silly.  They say that since they didn't write the story they don't have to check it for accuracy.  Really! "A Bloomberg spokesperson said that since the story was not written by Bloomberg, it was not edited by Bloomberg editors." Same old news..... Forbes 8-Sep-08 Click here for original story

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Update: September 7, 2008 @ 16:47 EDT

Camera Shy Snake
Why zoom lenses were invented.  21 sec video

Giving snakes everywhere a bad image

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If You Are In The US Illegally, It's Probably Best That You Resist Interviewing For That Border Patrol Job
Otherwise, you'll get some pre-employment training

An Albanian man, Jugert Haxhiu, whose chutzpah borders on stupidity, and who is in the US illegally,  thought it a good idea to apply for a Border Agent position with the US Border Patrol.  He also lied about being a US citizen.  Definitely beyond the borders of good thinking.   Naturally, he was arrested.


Associated Press, via MLive 5-Sep-08
Click here for original story

Thanks, Lisa, for sending this story to me!!

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Update: September 1, 2008 @ 18:07 EDT

If You Succeed In Getting People To Believe You Died Overseas To Collect $540K Life Insurance, It's Probably A Good Idea To Move To A New Location And, Oh Yeah, Especially, You Shouldn't Keep Those Family Doctor Appointments And Continue Paying Taxes Under Your Own Name
Did we mention wiping your  fingerprints from your death certificate?

What is it about the word "dead" that this guy couldn't understand?  Real dead people get "last rites."  This guy got "last wrongs."

Ahmad Akhtary of Gloucester, UK, forged his own death certificate, claiming he died overseas, so that his ex-wife could collect £300K ($540K) Life Insurance.

Stupid and dead is no way to go through life, son.

If you're going to pull this off, you have to at least be smart enough to act dead.  

Mr. Akhtary was seen walking around Gloucester, was admitted to the local hospital, kept his appointments with his family doctor and continued paying taxes under his own name, long after his supposed demise.  He tried denying any knowledge of the plot but, alas, his fingerprints were on the submitted Afghan death certificate showing that he indeed had a hand in his own death claim.

He and his ex only got a 90 day jail sentence,  suspended for two years and 60 to 40 hours community service.  Why such a light sentence?  The judge said they were too stupid to pull it off (he called it "too unsophisticated") so little damage was done.


The Daily Mail (UK) 01-Sep-08
Click here for original story

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Start With A Wild Imagination, Add A Touch Of Mass Hysteria And You Soon Have A Full Scale Police Operation, Helicopter And All, Looking For ... A Dog?
Or .. Dog Fleas. Police Scratching Their Heads 

The Police Service of Northern Ireland received a number of reports from people claiming to have seen a lion "wandering about in North Belfast."  And thus began the full-scale police operation which included a helicopter, and checks by every zoo keeper for missing lions.

"Police can confirm there's no stray lion wandering about in north Belfast."  The escaped "lion" turned out to be a large dog.  Your dog wants a camouflage doggie coat.


The Telegraph  (UK) 01-Sep-08
Click here for original story

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Update: August 29, 2008 @ 18:15 EDT

Man Who Drank 5 Margaritas, Got On The Wrong Train, Then Got Hurt Jumping Off The Train, Sues Amtrak For Not Making It Impossible For Drunk People To Get On And Then Jump Off The Wrong Train Without Getting Hurt
You are probably also mentioned in the lawsuit

A "Stupidest lawsuit in the world," bonehead award.

A man, arriving at an Amtrak train station in  New Haven, Connecticut, inebriated, after drinking 5 large margaritas, stumbled onto the wrong train and then, realizing it was the wrong train, jumped off the train, injuring his ankle.

So, naturally he filed a lawsuit against Amtrak because it's Amtrak's fault for not making it impossible for drunk people to get on the wrong train then jump off the train without hurting themselves.  

Or maybe it's your fault.  But it's certainly not his fault.

It was thrown out of court but probably not for the reasons that would make you feel better, like "take responsibility for your own actions!"  There's 6 1/2 pages of explanation that seem to never mention anything about personal responsibility.


Overlawyered
Click here for original story

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Update: August 27, 2008 @ 19:12 EDT

The Tale Of The UK Bus Driver Ticketed For Stopping His Bus At A Bus Stop And Much More
People unfortunate enough to find themselves in Restricted Thinking Zones

Sometimes it seems that government employees in the UK will enforce every rule to its extreme, except for one, "use your head."  Take parking enforcers ...  please

• Manchester bus driver Chris O'Mahony was handed an $80 (£40) parking fine, on the spot, for parking his bus, in a restricted area ... a bus stop!!  The enforcer even cut ahead of the people getting onto the bus to hand the driver the ticket.  Manchester City Council said they are sending the attendant for "retraining."
  
  
• A London truck driver, because of damage to the road from an earlier water main break, suddenly found that his 17-tonne truck became stuck when the front wheel suddenly broke through the pavement.  The parking attendant immediately rushed over and slapped a parking ticket onto his windshield, proclaiming "you can appeal."
  
  
  
  Truck driver Michael Collins is ticketed for illegal parking while stuck in a freshly formed pot hole
  
  
• A man, thrown from his motor scooter in South London , while still lying on the road with a broken leg, was never-the-less immediately given an on-the-spot $200 (£100) fine for illegal parking.
  
  
• A man, held hostage in a bank robbery, when finally released, discovered that a $60 (£30) overtime parking fine was stuck to his windshield , despite police having told the parking attendants that the car belonged to the hostage.
  
  
• Two blood donations in one visit! While encouraging people to donate blood at the bloodmobile with one hand, Sutton via their parking attendants, were slapping parking tickets on the cars of those who did just that with their other hand.  The council did wave the fines while acknowledging that the attendant had made an error of judgment.
  
  

The article has more.

The Times (of London)  4-Mar-08
Click here for original story

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Update: August 26, 2008 @ 15:56 EDT

"... They Were Almost Finished With The Floor and The Shop-Vac Was Nearly Full of Gasoline When The Explosion Occurred ..."  Does More Need To Be Said?
An "Explosive Stupidity," bonehead award

How can anyone so stupid live to be 56-years-old?  

Carrol Laverne Uitermarkt, 56,  and Ralph Touch of Prairie City, Iowa, decided that the best way to clean the basement floor was to pour gasoline on it and then suck the gasoline up with an electric powered Shop-Vac vacuum cleaner because we are all so stupid that we don't know we can use gasoline to clean floors and instead  we use non-flammable cleaning fluid and a mop.

If only it was a spark of intelligence and not a spark of electricity ...

"... they were almost finished with the floor and the Shop-Vac was nearly full of gasoline when the explosion occurred.   ...the explosion blew out the windows and bowed the walls and foundation.  A property to the east was also damaged."

Touch who happened to be outside at the time was spared material injury, but Uitermarkt is severely burned and has miraculously survived the explosion.

And now the floor is all dirty again.


Des Moines Register (Iowa) 26-Aug-08
Click here for original story

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Update: August 25, 2008 @ 08:14 EDT

You Can Buy Anything On eBay, Including Your, Yes Your, Personal Information, including Credit Card Information and Signature Image, Along With 1 Million Other People's For A Mere £36 ($67) Total Cost
The used computer buyer's honesty is the good news.  The bad news is that the other machines have gone missing.

A former employee of archiving firm Graphic Data sold one of the company's computers on eBay for £36 without first wiping the hard drive and thus delivered to the buyer personal information, including credit card numbers, bank account numbers, phone numbers, mother's maiden names and even signatures for about 1 million people.  The records belong to American Express, Natwest and The Royal Bank of Scotland.

This is the good news.  That the buyer was honest.  The bad news is there are other machines just like it and nobody knows where they are.  

The banks say all the accounts will need to be canceled immediately and that new accounts will be provided.  This is also the good news.

But the bad news is that since "mother's maiden name" is included in the information, and this is often the magic word to get access to your online accounts, along with your date of birth and your postal codes, sadly, you apparently need to find new mothers and move to new residences.  Don't wait.  You want to make sure you get a good mother.  I call dibs on that hot brunette.


The Daily Mail (UK) 25-Aug-08
Click here for original story

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If You Hear Police Screaming, "Search Warrant, Open Up," Make Sure They Aren't At Your Neighbor's House Before You Start Throwing All Your Drugs And Drug Paraphernalia Out Your Window
Police got a twofer that day

Two Salina, Kansas, men, panicking when they heard police outside about to raid their neighbor's home but believing the police came to their home instead, began throwing their drugs and drug paraphernalia out of their mobile home window to the cop watching their neighbor's rear door.  They were both arrested.


Salina Journal (Kansas) 25-Aug-08
Click here for original story

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Update: August 25, 2008 @ 08:14 EDT

What's Dumber Than Showing A Picture Of A London Child Killer To Heads of State To Promote London Culturally?  Not Understanding Why Anyone Is Upset
London's "official visitor organization" had 3 minutes to show, in Beijing, the best of London culture.  They chose a child murderer.  Must have confused their London contract with their Detroit contract.

"Visit London," the "official London visitor organization", so as to showcase London's culture in Beijing for the 2012 Summer Olympics, presented a 3 minute video in which the portrait of child murderer Myra Hindley, painted using child hand prints, appears.  Hindley was  involved in the murders of at least 5 children. Portrait of Myra Hindley, painted with children's hand prints, as presented in Beijing to promote London's culture Britain's Prime Minister, Gordon Brown, who was at the viewing, was not impressed. "I do find it utterly extraordinary that if we're trying to promote Britain, we should do so with an image of an mass child murder.  Somebody somewhere has taken an extraordinary decision that I don't think brings any credit on the country at all," said MP Ann Widdecombe. And what says Visit London? "There has never been a complaint made about this video up until this point.  However if any offense has been caused, we will withdraw it with immediate effect." No confirmation on whether Jack the Ripper will be substituted for Hindley in the next video version. BBC 25-Aug-08 Click here for original story

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Update: August 24, 2008 @ 17:48 EDT

I'm Cicada Idea Already.  New Japanese Fashion Idea You Hope To Only See Just This One Time.  Bonus: Weird Eye Fashion Too
Japanese idol, Shokotan (btw, look at her eyes) has a hairstyle idea that you hope won't catch on   

Those things in her hair are cicada shells.  

There might be a small number of you who think you'd like to do this.  Just keep in mind that whilst most people will be uncertain as to your taste in hair styles, many birds will find your hair style taste potentially tasteful.  So, thankfully, you'll need to keep this indoors.  So while we can argue whether this is a bonehead idea, or not, let's just call it a bird brain idea.

And, should you do this, you'll have to hope you don't attract cicada killer wasps, should they be in your area.  They are 1.5 inches long (3.8 cm) and are not often seen unless there are cicadas around.   Their sting is that much worse than a regular standard sized wasp.  In fairness though, they are not aggressive.

If her eyes appear somewhat larger than yours, it's because she's using the other new Japanese fashion trend, "anime contact lenses."  Japanese anime is a cartoon style where characters typically have eyes which are much larger than life.  These contact lenses can even get stranger than what she's wearing.  Look here.

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Update: August 23, 2008 @ 15:39 EDT

Racing With A Few Screws Loose
You may have what it takes under the hood but you still have watch your rear.  39 second video

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Update: August 22, 2008 @ 20:58 EDT

Maybe If You Act Like A Window Shade They Won't Notice You
The world's most incompetent burglar was left hanging upside down until police arrived because his shoe laces got stuck in the window he had just smashed

The world's most incompetent burglar, John Pearce of Dartford, Kent, UK, got his shoe laces stuck in the window frame he just smashed with a hammer, trying to gain entry, and remained hanging upside down like a schmuck for over an hour until police could free him.  

"Hang in there, mate!"

Passersby found it all very entertaining.


The Daily Mail (UK) 22-Aug-08
Click here original story

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Update: August 20, 2008 @ 18:35 EDT

Incompetent TSA Airport Worker Dangerously Damages 9 Planes And Doesn't Tell Anyone, Thus Assuring In-Flight Problems If The Damage Went Unnoticed

But Don't Worry.  He Didn't Find Any Terrorists On The Planes

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An Unforgettable Train Trip
   Almost cost this dozy youth his life.  Luck was driving the train that day.  32 second video

Originally submitted to Youtube by Rocketboy1950

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Truer Words Were Never Written, Especially From The Perspective Of A Right Lane Driver
   An "Unclear On The Concept Bonehead Award," goes to some dimwitted government employees

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Update: August 19, 2008 @ 18:40 EDT

Apparently This Also Needs To Be Said.  If Two Men Are Standing Next To The Bank Night Deposit Slot Claiming It Is Broken And Promising To Deposit Your Money For You In The Morning If You Hand It To Them, Don't Give Them Your Money
   Police only came to learn of the scam when some fool called the bank in the morning to check on his parted money

Two men in Tigard, Oregon,  dressed as security guards, and standing next to a bank's night deposit slot with an "Out of service" sign on it, offered to take people's money and deposit if for them in the morning, according to one knucklehead who was shocked to learn that the men never made the promised deposit. Oregon Live  18-Aug-08 Click here for original story

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Inappropriate Public Display At H.C. Andersen Community Academy
   School achieves its promise of "Raising The Bar For Higher Expectations."  We now have higher expectations

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Update: August 17, 2008 @ 07:51 EDT

Ant Colony In Your Printer?  It's More Likely Than You Think
   While you were distracted looking for computer viruses, these little buggers may have been moving in.  A weird extra report.  1.5 minute video.

Giving new meaning to "antabuse", here is an interesting video made by a man who discovered he had some new antagonists, an ant colony, living within his printer/scanner.  Ants, eggs and all that good stuff  for your enjoyment.

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Update: August 15, 2008 @ 21:17 EDT

Man Who Stole Beer From A Store On Wednesday Is Caught While Waiting For The Get Away Bus?  On Thursday - Same Beer, Same Store, Same Get Away Bus
   Keep watching this space

On Wednesday, a Basalt, Colorado, man was arrested for stealing beer from a 7-Eleven as he waited for his get away bus.  The next day, the same man was arrested for stealing beer from the same 7-Eleven as he again waited for his getaway bus.  Dude, you're doing it all wrong. "... that's one of the dumbest crimes I've seen," said Basalt Police Sgt Stu Curry. Channel 7 News (Denver, Colorado)  16-Aug-08 Click here for original story

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Update: August 14, 2008 @ 19:40 EDT

For The Second Time This Year, Birmingham, UK, Mistakenly Uses A Picture Of Birmingham, Alabama To Promote Itself
   Some city governments don't have a clue as to what they are doing.  Here's one that doesn't seem to even know where they are doing it!

The Birmingham, UK, ad showing the Birmingham, Alabama, skyline For the second time this year, government officials in Britain's  second-largest city, Birmingham (pronounced "Birming’am"), mistakenly used a photograph of the Birmingham, Alabama, (pronounced, "bur-ming-ham") skyline to promote itself, instead of its own city skyline.  It's no longer a matter of whether they know what they are doing in Birmingham, UK, it's now also a matter of whether they even know where they are doing it! The Birmingham City Council in the UK distributed about 720,000 leaflets praising residents for exceeding recycling targets with "Thank You Birmingham!" written over a picture of the Birmingham, Alabama skyline. Birmingham, Alabama, is not impressed.  "How do you not know the landmarks in your own town?" asked Melanie Kearns of the Birmingham, Alabama, Regional Chamber of Commerce. The real Birmingham, UK skyline Associated Press 14-Aug-08 Click here for original story

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Update: August 13, 2008 @ 13:23 EDT

Poop So Big, Even The Electricity Died When It Went Airborne
   An artist's GIANT inflatable turd, the size of a house, became airborne  in Switzerland and ... well, you know, sh*t happens

A "This Ain't Art" bonehead award goes to "artist" Paul McCarthy  whose "work of art" is an inflatable turd as large as a house and the award also goes to the Swiss museum that decided to display it. And then the wind carried it 200 meters, taking down a power line and breaking a window. Some "art" just stinks worse than other "art." AFP via news.com.au 12-Aug-08 Click here for original story

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If You Drive An 18-Wheeler And You Stop Because The Railroad Gates Just Came Down, Do You 1) Wait For The Train To Pass? 2) Seek An Alternative Route, or 3) Floor It Hoping That At 1 MPH You'll Make It Over The Track Before The Train Comes?
   A rather interesting 1 minute video

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There's No Such Thing As A Stupid Question - Except At UK Visitor Sites
   Actual questions visitors to some of the UK's English Heritage historical sites have asked

The English Heritage Society, an organization which maintains many of the UK's most important historical sites, has released a list of some of the strange questions they've been asked by some visitors: "Why did they build so many ruined castles and abbeys in England?" During a misty day at Dover Castle: "What time do you switch the mist off?" "Can you tell me where I can see the Hobbits?" "How long does life membership last?" At the secret wartime tunnels in Kent, "Are the tunnels underground?" And my personal favorite question.... Asked about a 300 million year old rock formation, "Is that man-made?" Lancashire Evening Post 13-Aug-08 Click here for original story

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Update: August 8, 2008 @ 10:00 EDT

Those Clever Muggles.  New Zealand Police, Looking For A Juvenile Who Looks Like Hagrid, But Not Allowed By Law To Use A Juvenile's Photo On Posters, Uses Hagrid's Photo Instead
   Snape upset that his polyjuice potion ingredients have gone missing again. 

New Zealand police, not allowed under law to use a Juvenile's picture on posters, but who wanted to warn area residents that a juvenile who looks like Hagrid in the Harry Potter movies has been burgling the neighborhood, used Robbie Coltrane's face on the poster instead, along with, "Robbie Coltrane is not the burglar but imagine him aged 16 with lank greasy hair and you have the picture. " Area residents welcome the police's ingenuity for getting around the boneheaded law and showing them "He who must not be viewed." BBC 7-Aug-08 Click here for original story

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Update: August 8, 2008 @ 09:25 EDT

8 People, In The First 24 Hours, Pay $1,000 For New iPhone Software That Does Nothing More Than Put "I Am Inadequate," er, "I Am Rich" Onto Their iPhone
   But, to be fair, it does come with a cute red glowing gem picture thingy

Apple Computer pulled from their stores an iPhone software program, made available by a 3rd party developer, selling for $1,000, that does nothing more than put a glowing red gem onto the iPhone along with the words, "I Am Rich," but not after 8 people paid $1,000 for it. Oh well, there's always an alternative for those who missed out.  There's that email in their spam filter with the subject  "Never lose hope to get it bigger." Los Angeles Times 8-Aug-08 Click here for original story

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Update: August 7, 2008 @ 07:45 EDT

Inmate, Considered "Dangerous," And Jailed For A Stabbing, Is Let Out By A Judge Because .... She Asked???
A "Justice Is Blind, But Only Because It Has Its Head Up Its Butt" Bonehead Award

Denise "but I never said which day" Jones,  who California police consider extremely dangerous, and who was in jail for allegedly stabbing a man, was allowed to leave jail, unsupervised, by a judge, because she simply asked if she could leave, promising to return by 8 PM.  Who knew it could be that simple? She never returned.  But you saw this one coming.  The judge didn't.  Gives new meaning to the term "inferior court." KSBW 6-Aug-08 Click here for original story

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Update: August 4, 2008 @ 17:28 EDT

The Great Thing About Words Is That Even If You Get Them Completely Wrong, They Can Still Tell A Great Story
Or computers are beginning to develop a sense of humor

Don't use a translation program if you can't discern the translation from the error message

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What's Worse Than A Shoplifter Or A Drunken Thug?  Someone With An Imperfectly Packed Garbage Bin, Of Course ... At Least In The UK
In the UK shoplifting and disorderly conduct is a $160 fine.  But imperfectly packed garbage bins?  That's a $220 fine

In the UK, under new rules, if you over pack your garbage bin, which means it is even an inch higher than the rim, you get a $220 on-the-spot fine and a criminal record.  But if you get caught shoplifting or you go on a drunken rampage, it will only cost $160. So, what does this really mean? It probably means the end to many peaceful neighborhoods.  Ironically many people with too much garbage to put out for the bi-weekly collection will never get fined.  Rather their neighbors will get fined.  But a word of caution.  When transferring that excess garbage to your neighbor's bin, act like you're drunk.  This way if you are caught, you still saved $60 and so it was worth it. This will surely result in bad neighbor relations as one's excess garbage will find its way into their neighbor's bin "Bus driver Gareth Corkhill was given a criminal record earlier this year for overfilling his wheelie bin to the point where the lid was open by four inches .... The father of four was ordered to pay a £210 ($420) fine, equal to his week's wages, plus a £15 ($30) surcharge to help 'victims of violence', and given a record."  The fine doubled because it wasn't paid on time, usually after 4 weeks. The Daily Mail (UK)  3-Aug-08 Click here for original story

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Update: July 30, 2008 @ 20:00 EDT

If You Are Airport Security And You Realize That You Already Stupidly Let An Oversize Bag With "BOMB" Written On It Through Security Unchecked, What Do You Do?  Well, If You Are Qantas, You Haul It Over To Where All The People Are So You Can Have A Closer Look
Because, as we all know, misery loves company

After Qantas allowed an oversize bag with "BOMB" written on it to go through security unchecked,  "the situation deteriorated when managers dragged the still unscreened bag towards a more populated area of the airport."   There was no bomb, at least if we're talking about what was in the luggage. The Australian 1-Aug-08  Click here for original story

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Update: July 30, 2008 @ 20:00 EDT

Surprisingly, The Roof Of Your Minivan, As You Drive Around Miami, Is Not The Best Hiding Place For That 40 Foot (12 Meter) Street Lamp You Just Stole
And it apparently doesn't make you any brighter either

Elio Valero, 42, of Miami had one thing in common with the 40 foot street lamp he stole ... the lights weren't working.  Miami police "saw the light" and nabbed Valero while he was trying to transport the stolen lamp post, then attached to the roof of his minivan,  to the recycling center to collect some extra cash. Fox News 30-Jul-08  Click here for original story

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Your Buddy Gets Bitten By A Rattlesnake.  Do You: A) Call 911?  B) Rush Him To The Hospital?  or   3) Hook him up to your semi's battery and turn on the engine?
Now he had two reasons to get to the emergency room

"His buddy got the jumper cables and hooked him up to a giant battery from his semi, then fired up the engine ... The guy is screaming, yelling and seizing from this treatment; they thought it would somehow break the venom down." Sometimes an assault and battery makes for a good story. Helenair (Helena, Montana) 24-Jul-08  Click here for original story

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Update: July 27, 2008 @ 11:15 EDT

This Is An Awesome TV Advertisement From The The UK
It's an awareness test.  Can't say more or I'll give it away

This is an awesome television advertisement from the UK which has an important and surprising point.

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Update: July 25, 2008 @ 21:00 EDT

Apparently This Does Need To Be Said.  If A Man Claims To Be A Market Researcher And Wants To Take Your Children Into A Separate Room For "Underwear Measurements,"  Don't Let Him Into Your House
People actually believed him

44-year-old Ben Hawkins of Ohio, a known sex offender, posed as a market researcher and gained access to people's children through ads he published.  He said he needed to take their children into a separate room for "underwear measurements."  And this was just fine with some folks, apparently. Cincinnati Enquirer 25-Jul-08 Click here for original story

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Update: July 25, 2008 @ 19:35 EDT

Man Gets On-The-Spot $60 Fine For Smoking In His Van Because His Van Is Classified As His Workplace
In other news, workplace theft, committed by government employees, is expected to rise significantly In the UK

A self-employed UK painter and decorator was pulled over and  given a $60 instant fine while smoking in his van because his van is classified as his workplace by the local council.  And since smoking in the workplace was recently banned in the UK.... "A spokesman for Ceredigion council defended the fine. He said: “The general position in relation to smoking legislation is that there are very few exemptions to the smoking ban.  It affects most public premises, including work places and work vehicles.” " The creator of the legislation disagrees, and says work vans are exempted by the new law,  but who cares about him? It seems that while all of us were watching out for the "thought police," it was the "lack of thought police" we really needed to be concerned about. The Times (of London) 25-Jul-08 Click here for original story

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A Company Installing A Sewer Line Is Forced To Pay $1,250 A Week For Someone To Watch For Trains On An Abandoned Rail Line
The weed infested track is blocked and hasn't seen a train in over a decade

Wannon Water , building a sewage line in Victoria, Australia, must pay a man about $1,250 a week for 3 months to watch for trains coming on a nearby abandoned rail line that is blocked and hasn't been in use for over a decade. "It's a V/Line requirement that a rail person is on site at all times. We did question that, knowing the rail line was not active, but it was a condition of work," said a Wannon Water communications spokeswoman. V/Line calls it's a safety issue.  We call it being railroaded. Herald Sun (Australia) 24-Jul-08 Click here for original story Found at the Wicked Thoughts website (great cartoon at the start of the web page, by the way)

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Update: July 24, 2008 @ 18:36 EDT

Because It's The 21st Century, A Nude Painting, Once Banned For Being Too Sexy, Is Unbanned But May Get Banned Again Because The Woman Is Smoking A Cigarette
Because it's the 21st century

After 60 years, a painting known as the Newport Nude, put away when council chiefs in Newport, South Wales, decided the painting was too scandalous, has finally been put back on display.  Now people want it banned because the woman is smoking a cigarette. We can always look forward to the 22nd century. Times of London 23-Jul-08  Click here for original story     (Picture may not be safe for work and anti smoking fanatics)

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A Man Who Broke Up With His Fiancé When He Learned She Is In Debt Is Ordered To Pay Her $150K For Breaking Up With Her
Sure sucks to be him

A Georgia jury awarded a woman $150K in her lawsuit against her fiancé for breaking up with her.  He broke up with her when he found out she was in debt.  He should have picked the debt behind door number 2. WTOP (Washington, DC) 24-Jul-08 Click here for original story

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Update: July 23, 2008 @ 17:12 EDT

Student Who Only Wrote "F**k off" For An Essay Entry On A Standardized Test Is Given Extra Credit For Not Having Left The Page Blank
Had he put an exclamation at the end he would have gotten even more points for demonstrating proper punctuation

Asserting that writing "F**k off" as the sole submission for an essay demonstrates "nominal skills" and better judgment than leaving the page blank, a UK student was given 7.5% additional credit on his GCSE exam, a standardized secondary school test used in England, Wales and Northern Ireland.  And he would have, according to the Chief Examiner, Peter Buckroyd, received even more credit had he added an exclamation mark after it which would have demonstrated his understanding of proper punctuation.  For those of you who are not yet totally depressed about modern day education. And what says exam regulator Ofqual? "It's for awarding bodies to develop their mark scheme and for their markers to award marks in line with that scheme."  Which is their way of telling you to "f**k off" without ignoring you and  in such a way as to demonstrate proper use of grammatical constructs. The Mirror (UK)  01-Jul-08 Click here for original story

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82-Year-Old Woman Ordered To Stop Taking Pictures Of An EMPTY Kiddie Pool On Fear That She Might Be A Pedophile
An "Unclear On The Concept" Bonehead Award

Take misguided government thinking and mix it with government employees who are incapable of thinking and you have... 86-year-old, Betty Robinson, and her 69-year-old friend, Brenda Bennett, who were shocked when a Southampton City Council  (UK) worker told them to stop taking pictures of the empty kiddie pool because they were endangering children. "It's pathetic, bureaucracy gone wild,"  says Mrs. Robinson. The city council  says they will advise workers to use more discretion but also says, "We have to walk a fine line between protecting the children who use this popular paddling pool and the interests of the community as a whole." BBC 23-Jul-08 Click here for original story

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Update: July 21, 2008 @ 16:50 EDT

A UK Man, Harassed For Months By Rock Throwing Youths, Takes A Picture Of His Tormentors.  Guess Who The Police Threaten To Arrest?
Police arrive to warn him that taking pictures of teens is considered "assault"

A UK man, David Green, 64,  and his neighbors, tormented for months by rock throwing youths who also threatened to kill him, finally took a photo of the youths as proof of their behavior and to help police identify the perpetrators.  Guess who got threatened with arrest? The South London Metropolitan Police, completely unconcerned about Green's safety and the safety of his neighbors, sent an officer down to warn Green that taking pictures of teenagers is considered "assault" and he can be arrested. 'I think it's wrong that when teenagers are running riot and the police are called, it's about me, and I'm treated like a criminal," said the disgusted Green. The Daily Mail (UK) 21-Jul-08 Click here for original story

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Update: July 20, 2008 @ 09:35 EDT

If You Look Hard Enough You Will Find Music In Everything A Human Makes.  Just Not Always In The Form You Expect
Honoring those who are not "boneheads"

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Update: July 18, 2008 @ 19:35 EDT

Woman To Sue Designer Of Racist T-Shirt Because She Got Attacked While Wearing It
Apparently in the "universe of the dumb," two wrongs do make a ri